I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
