well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
