It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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