She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
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He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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