i would punch a child for taco bell
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
