You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
