whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
