I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It's just like the Real World with babies
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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