I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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