Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize