i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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