Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
