we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
