How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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