nut hugger
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
North Korea, Best Korea!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
