Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
