Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
