But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
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your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
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He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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