If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
