I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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