I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
