You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
