I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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