it hurts more in the daytime
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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