unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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