My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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