weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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