I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
