Buhtt sex?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I think I just shit out all my problems.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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