Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just want nice things and good sex
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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