i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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