He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
