i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
