I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
