I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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