My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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