she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
