is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
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its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
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Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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