Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
