so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
