WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
