He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
