His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize