It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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