Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
