That's when you crack a 10am beer
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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