Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
