Already got asked if we're dating
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
