When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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