You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize