I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
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The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
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In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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