3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
