I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
