Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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