do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
