Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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