She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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